Here is something that everyone can identify with! You are driving down the road listening to your stereo, bopping along, “singing” all the words to the song like you own that bitch when all of a sudden, you hit a patch of words that you just can’t hear so you mumble through that line…coming out strong on the other side. “Bye, bye Miss American Pie…Now, for ten years we’ve been on our own, and moss grows, fat on a rolling stone, but, that’s not how it used to be. Ohhhh ba the jester lala da ma ta for the King and queen in a blah, rah, pah, from James Dean, and a voice that came from you and me.” Something like that. Here is a list of my favorite misheard lyrics.
1.) Weezer’s “Sweater Song:” in high school, my friends and I were driving around listening to the radio when this song came on. We all started singing along and once we hit the chorus, we were going strong! And then…Megan sang “I don’t care what you say about my sister!” We all fell silent and our quizzical looks most have been enough to turn poor Megan a shade of red not yet identified by man. Really, the lyrics are “If you want to destroy my sweater…” I’m not positive that she will ever live that one down. She also provides the next funny on my list.
2.) No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak:” also in high school. I think maybe even right after the sister and sweater mix up. Megan admits that she always thought the lyrics to the chorus were “Don’t tugs and hugs it hurts!” In actuality, they lyrics are “Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts!” Just take a second and replace the lyrics…let it sink it. Sometimes I wish I could take credit.
3.) I am not very familiar with this song but the monumental fuck up of the lyrics is pretty good. The song…”Love Comes in Spurts” by Richard Hell and the Voidoids. It is a suggestive title. Here is my interpretation of the above lyrics: “Blow jobs in space.” Yes, that’s right, you actually heard me correctly…I, however, did not hear that song correctly. How one manages to hear “Blow jobs in space” versus “Love comes in spurts,” is far beyond me. I blame it on the background noise of the round battling for my attention when I listen to music in the car.
4.) This one just makes no sense either. It is funny how one little misunderstanding can change the entire context of the song. Especially when said song is death metal. The song: “Inflikted” by Cavalera Conspiracy. The actual lyric: “Muthafuckin’ wicked.” My understanding (or rather misunderstanding): “Muthafuckin’ weekend.” Because every death metal band just loves to sing about the weekend in the middle of their angry song. “Unleash the wicked/this hate is self-inflikted/deliver this torment/upon your final judgement/follow the storm/in the land of no return/it’s you, the scum/we’ll kill until it’s done/inflikted/show no mercy/muthafuckin’ wicked.” Voila! It goes from a song about self-loathing and torment to a party anthem about the weekend. Not so much.
5.) After doing some research on the good old Google, I found out that next misheard lyric is a very common one! The song: “The Stranger” by A Perfect Circle. The actual line: “Fuck your tornado.” 90% of the population hears: “Fuck your tomato.” That’s right, Maynard! Fuck those pretentious people and their fucking tomatoes! Always drying them out in the sun and sprinkling them in with your spaghetti sauce. Pfffhhh. I don’t need your damn toma….oh wait, tornado. You mean tornado. Well that changes things. But with Maynard, you never really know. Hell, he sings about shitting the bed. What’s to stop him from fucking your tomatoes?
6.) My last beautiful gem of misunderstanding comes not from a song but from a movie. The movie, a cult classic: Evil Dead. The actual line (muttered out by a haggish old demon-lady): “Someone’s in my fruit cellar!” This is what my friends and I heard: “Someone’s in my fruit salad!” But with that movie, fucking anything is possible. Maybe Bruce Campbell actually was in the old living-dead lady’s fruit salad? Well that would have to have been Evil Dead 2, when Ash was cursed and manifested multiple tiny little evil clones of himself. Now those itsy bitsy bastards could fit in a fruit salad. I would be vexed, too.
If you have any fabulously misheard lyrics, do share! I have millions more but the number is so large that it would take far too long to list and describe them all. Keep on listening and don’t let that road noise cloud your ears.
